Afghanistan: Journal of Lieutenant Evison, Welsh Guards

This is a long post, the journal extract reproduced from the Telegraph - extracts have been quoted elsewhere as well relating to kit shortages.

It deserves to be read in full as a vivid and well-written war memoir that brings the danger, hardship and boredom of military service to life. The words will endure, a fitting tribute to the sacrifice of their author.

These 4,000 or so words should be read out in every classroom in the land...more importantly, they should be read out in Parliament in advance of the Afghanistan debate on 16 July.

AFGHANISTAN 2009

15 April
It is always the hardest part to start a journal. Where to begin? Should one start with feelings past or just start from the beginning. As my grandfather once said it is best just to put pen to paper and write.Anticipation, excitement, fear – all words which could be used to describe what one should be feeling right now but the only one that I really feel is uncertainty. I am currently sitting under neon lights of a mortar-proof marquee on Kandahar airfield. Due to this the reality of where I am has not yet hit. The only other feeling is that of an emptiness for those that I have left behind. Goodbyes are not the easiest to deal with but one can prepare for some – mothers, sisters, fathers etc. The others are those that catch you unaware. Those that you thought were going to be easy sometimes become harder than the others. I travelled to London yesterday to sort out one final goodbye with a friend which ended up being the hardest so far. My feelings are in turmoil.We now fly to Camp Bastion by Hercules and then start the RSOI package [Reception, Staging, Onward-movement and Integration] tomorrow afternoon – I have been warned that it will be death by PowerPoint.

16 April
We have now moved fully into Camp Bastion and partaking in the RSOI package. This is a four day live firing package which is mandatory for all who arrive in Afghanistan. It is also a good way to acclimatise and finally try out all the kit we have been issued – including the Osprey [body armour].Bastion is a bizarre place. It is situated in the middle of the desert with majestic mountains rising to the North and South approximately 10 km away. Apart from that it is flat and so with the addition of the hesco [sandbag] walls which are 20 feet high gives the feeling of complete isolation within the base.It is so powerful that it does not feel like we are in a war zone and only a few kms outside of the walls are people who would want to do you harm. On top of this the food is fantastic – there is a pizza hut and an internet suite which is faster than those at home.We were on the ranges today testing our weapons and we met an old acquaintance of mine from school, who has just finished his six-month tour operating as a mobile operations group around the whole of Afghanistan.When he asked where I was heading and he found out it was Nad-e-Ali he took a small step back and wished me all the best – in fact this had happened a number of times.I can only guess that this is because of two reasons. Firstly, being knowledgeable he really does know it will be tough or secondly that he has heard but is talking a big game.Either way, waiting in Bastion is not ideal as at the moment I just want to get stuck in and see for myself what it is like. How will I react with my first contact? Will I freeze or hopefully prove my worth. At the moment it is a waiting game and until that moment comes I can only speculate.

17 April
The problem with the Guards is that even when deployed they are still a stickler for rules. I was approached by the Battalion second in command earlier today who stated that I should have not cut my hat down. In earnest I bought it that way and stated my case. He proceeded to walk off muttering under his breath – ''Platoon commanders these days''. It seems that they are more interested in how we look rather than the fact that as a battalion we are soon to be facing the fiercest fighting probably since the Second World War. The men seem prepared to a certain extent but whether they are there mentally will be the deciding factor. I fully expect them to refuse to soldier. If that is the case then how will I persuade them to change. It will be hard.On a more positive note I have found the pull-up bar – great success.

21 April
I have now reached the front line in the form of FOB [Forward Operating Base] Silab – approx 15 Ks west of Bastion in the Nad-e-Ali district. We moved out of Bastion yesterday and transported the Vikings through the desert to drop down into the Green Zone to reduce the chances of striking an IED [improvised explosive device].The Viking vehicle was designed for use in the Scandinavian countries against attack from what was the USSR. Used extensively by the Royal Marines they have been adapted for use in the desert with different tracks, increased armour and more importantly air conditioning.We mounted up first thing in the morning and with a few rather nervous passengers, myself included, we left. One very long hour afterwards we rolled into Silab – home for the next few days and my first taste of Afghanistan and the much talked about compounds.It is a FOB approx 200m by 100m with 3 x 105 guns attached. Four sangers [sandbag fortifications] mounted 24 hours a day by both Estonians and artillery. The Ops room with internet and facilities lies to the north. I have been placed in a compound further west which although it is further away from the Ops room (a positive) is right next to the gun line and twice now I have jumped out of my skin as they fire with no warning.After a day of relaxing and getting used to the difference between Bastion and the FOB I prepared myself for patrol at 08.00 the following morning.This included visiting the armoury. Unlike back in the UK where everything is accountable, here once it is handed out it is written off – essentially used up even if not fired. Another point is that here there are many more varieties of weapon systems, some I have not seen or heard of. To that extent after 15 mins in the ammo store I walked out with enough kit to start my own war, including an anti-tank weapon and two red phos grenades, as well as the standard personal ammunition.I got an early night and caught up on some much-needed sleep.The following morning I rose early, had breakfast and re-checked my kit ready for the 08.00 leave. Having met the platoon commander and getting a brief overview of the patrol, we were to move North along a road with one section moving to the West along compounds which have been used for firing points. We were heading for Green 1, a junction of both road and canal and a point which I was told Taliban used regularly. The first twenty mins were the worst. It is the uncertainty of not knowing when it will happen which plays on your mind. Almost nothing did happen. I am sure that as soon as a contact happens, you soon forget about the sickly fear and concentrate on more important things. We held a mins' shura [consultation, meeting] with three Afghans and moved back to the FOB. It really is true that they have nothing. The children are all smiling with beautiful faces. The men are more guarded and generally stand-offish. However they are willing to talk which goes against all the briefs I have been given.The rest of the day has been spent trying to prepare for my move into Haji-Alem, an old smuggling fort that my platoon is taking over on the 24th when they arrive. I have been trying to work out exactly what is and what is not here. This is harder than it seems. Paperwork trails which tend to disappear are commonplace. As it stands I have a lack of radios, water, food and medical equipment. This with manpower is what these missions lack. It is disgraceful to send a platoon into a very dangerous area with two weeks' water and food and one team medics pack. Injuries will be sustained which I will not be able to treat and deaths could occur which could have been stopped. We are walking on a tightrope and from what it seems here are likely to fall unless drastic measures are undertaken.On top of this I seem to have hit a wall, feel dreadful and fear I may have a fever. I will speak to mum tonight and hopefully this will cheer me up. I need an early night ready to move out at 09.00 tomorrow with the Estonians.

26 April
Haji-Alem. This is the name of the fort that my platoon are now occupying. It was built fairly recently but to the design of an old fort. It is therefore very defendable – four turrets on each corner give excellent views to all compass points and being the tallest building in Nad-e-Ali it is quite imposing.The Platoon moved in three days ago, however I only joined them last night. This was because of the fever I had caught days previously. I did move with the Estonians early the morning of the 22nd but after I had reached Haji-Alem and conducted a two hour patrol with the then Platoon Commander I was in all sorts of trouble and so had to move back to Silab with them to recover for a few days leaving X in charge of the Platoon.The fever has hit fairly hard – cold sweats, aching limbs and headaches. More importantly it has stopped my appetite and so over the last two days the weight has just fallen off. Now that I am better I need to build this weight up by eating as much as possible. I have been forced to read Jeffrey Archer which I have always vowed I would not. In earnest it is not too bad. He writes well and his stories are imaginative and flow easily.

26 April
Whilst I was recovering in Silab, X took the Platoon on their first patrol. To the SW of Haji-Alem are well known Taliban compounds. A place one would not venture to with soldiers who have not been out on the ground and do not know the combat indicators, these come with time etc. He then patrolled towards these compounds at the hottest point of the day. He sustained a heat casualty (who had just come off 5 hours of stag [duty]) and due to this was lucky enough not to walk into an ambush. As it was the patrol was contacted whilst moving back with the heat injury and managed to mortally wound a civilian who died back in Bastion after presenting himself at Haji-Alem and being extracted. I am now sitting on radio stag at 06.45 with another glorious Afghan day beating down on us. Not one cloud in the sky. I wonder if they appreciate what a change it is to the normal grey British climate, I doubt it. The fort is now fairly sorted. There are showers (1 a week), a chill out area with BBQ (nothing yet to cook) and a gym. The loos are fairly basic with just a hole in the ground for pissing and an ammo tin for turds which must be burnt by the unfortunate individual who fills it up. We could be here for six months and so it is good to get it up and running to a good standard so the boys can relax etc.It is good being back. The Platoon cheered me when I turned up and so for some strange reason I think they must have missed me.

27 April
The heat out here is something I have never experienced in my life. Both Oman and Morocco although being of similar intensity feel different. The sun here is just so powerful. By 09.00 the sun is already fairly high in the sky and the power is staggering. The hottest part between 11.00 and 14.00 and then it suddenly drops and is relatively cool by 17.00. I think this can be put down to both altitude and the closeness to the equator. Added to the proximity of the walls within the fort and we have a living oven. There is no respite and it seems the shade makes no difference.So we have been confined to the fort for the last two days. Two reasons for this, firstly our ECM [electronic counter-measure] is down and secondary we have been restricted by the commanding officer to patrol out to a maximum distance of 200 m. We are to wait until we have an interpreter with the Icom [radio system/scanner] before we can push out further.On a positive, this gives the platoon time to get used to the heat whilst on small patrols.We received our first livestock this morning. Sgt X managed using sign language to persuade a local to sell us a turkey for the bargain price of $25. The only problem which could prove to be fairly major is that at the moment ''Terry’’ as the boys have named him seems both averse to biscuit brown and biscuit fruit [rations]. We aim to put him on the BBQ next Sunday night but we don’t want him to lose weight so it might have to be done earlier. Also on that vein how to do the deed – it would seem a little unfair to shoot him and so a knife seems the likely alternative.At the moment life is great.

28 April
Frustration and boredom is now beginning to kick in. Frustration at not being able to push out as I know I can and boredom for the boys who are spending most of their time on Stag. The poppy harvest is still ongoing and so the Taliban are quiet. They are waiting. If they attack us now they know we will retaliate and they run the risk of alienating the local population. Today two families were seen moving N to S in two vehicles full of kit. This is probably due to the poppy harvest coming to the end but it could be because the Taliban have told them to move out of the area.The boys are also beginning to get quite jumpy. With long periods of quiet I expect this is very normal. Soldiers will want to get out there and not allow their imaginations get the better of them. The sniper and Javelin pairs seem to be itching to get their respective weapons employed. I seem to be the only one here who believes that war might not be the answer to this particular problem. We must work on relationships with the Afghanis if we are to build a future for them. Maybe my perspective will change in the next few days and weeks.

30 April
The first casualty. Yesterday morning at 10.48 Sgt Fasfous an MFC [mortar fire controller] was on patrol with an OMLT [operational mentor and liaison team] in a joint patrol with an ANA [Afghanistan National Army] North of Gereskh. The call sign was contacted and unfortunately he was killed instantly as well as one interpreter. A captain in the Light Dragoons was seriously injured and extracted by MIRT [medical instant response team] to Bastion.It is a blow for the Welsh Guards. He was a very well respected and professional Lance Sgt and will be sorely missed. Breaking the news to the boys was hard. I think reality has now really hit home. X, a childhood friend, has taken the news badly and will need to be monitored closely over the next few days to make sure he is OK. It’s strange to think that I was talking to him only a couple of weeks ago. Life is fragile and out here it feels like it can be removed in an instant. It almost makes life even more valuable and shows the fragility that many in the West I believe do not understand.We are now fully up and running within the fort. We received 10 ANA [Afghan National Army] soldiers this morning, with an interpreter and Icom [radio system] scanner. This makes my life a lot easier and a lot more interesting.I joined them for a lunch of boiled rice and discussed how they can be integrated within the Platoon whilst on patrol. Already in the few hours they have been here they have pushed out to the neighbouring compounds. The locals are very happy we are here and have given a steer as to where they believe the Taliban to be. The SW is where we will patrol tomorrow and where they believe the Taliban to be.The biggest fear I have whilst in the fort for six months is keeping the morale up of the men. Currently we have a satellite phone but as it stands, no way of charging it. On top of that, the CLP [combat logistics patrol] that arrived today did so without the post which was expected. The Company members in Silab with internet terminals and two satellite phones must understand that currently the largest source of morale is from post. All iPods have run out of battery and to arrive with no post is inexcusable. It is a hard life in these forward PBs [patrol bases] and we need all the morale we can get. We are running a fines book which brings the platoon together every night. It is a great way of keeping up morale and hopefully by the end of the tour we should have enough money for a great night out.The ANA are an interesting bunch. They earn $200 a month, compared to what they could do if they farmed poppies, $4,000 a month. Many of them fight for blood feuds with the Taliban who have killed family members. All they want to do is kill Taliban and it will be interesting how they deal with being contacted on the ground. Currently they seem rather blasé. They will happily leave the PB [patrol base] without helmet or body armour. They came with various weapon types – Ak 47s [assault rifles], M 16s [rifles], etc as well as what looks like a couple of bagfuls of RPGs [rocket propelled grenades] – could be interesting.We are heading out to compounds 24, 22 and 19 tomorrow am, where 7 Platoon were contacted from a week ago.

1 May
My first contact. At mid-morning the Platoon moved over the canal towards where they were contacted a week ago. We moved south as a platoon, manoeuvring different sections to always keep one foot on the ground.As my lead section were moving S along an irrigation ditch they were contacted by accurate small arms fire. After a short burst, the gunmen whom we stumbled upon fled and with one other tried to flank my call sign. We moved to deny them the opportunity and moved E towards compounds 17 and 13. Once we had checked those we started to move back towards the Platoon location.I managed to push my lead section over the bridge but as I did so we came under accurate small arms fire from 4 or 5 firing points. I was pinned down and when a round splashed approximately 2m away my heart was racing.The radios were down and so I had no comms with either Silab or the gun line. I therefore had to use my own fire, a Javelin [anti-tank missile], GMG [grenade machine gun] and sniper pair. Two Javelin missiles were fired onto a firing point which eliminated one threat.There were now just 7 bods plus myself stuck on the wrong side of the canal. We had to make the decision just to go for it. With a rapid fire from the Platoon we sprinted down the bank, through the canal, back up the friendly bank and then tried to push back into the PB. More luck than anything else saw the platoon safely back behind sturdy walls, laughing at the contact we had just been in. For me it is still the fear of making a wrong decision which sits heavily on my mind. I am responsible for every person within this PB and I fear that we will not always be as lucky as we were today. At least today I proved to myself that I will not freeze the next time I get shot at. I do not expect this to be in the distant future.

2 May
Morale seems to go up and down very quickly here. This afternoon we got a delivery of mail. X has written again and I rather unexpectedly got a package from the d’Ambs [family friends] which was very thoughtful. Pickled onion, monster munch, foie gras and a lovely cigar were top of the list. We played deal or no deal which seemed to raise everybody’s spirits, and tomorrow night is – the Army’s got talent.However, lack of phone communication is a real dampener. Some of the guys have not been able to speak to their wives or children for three weeks now which is terrible. Although I am bottom of the list I would like to speak to mum, hopefully in the next few weeks.

3 May
Good news all around yesterday. The CLP arrived and not only a lot of post but also a generator. Although they had forgotten to fill it with oil, we managed to drain the snatch and use the oil from there to fill the generator. We also bodged a charger for the satellite phones and so hey presto, we now have power to the camp and a line to the outside world.Got a parcel from dad consisting of a pot of tea, a bamboo cup, two batteries and a book of the Cathedrals of England – random to the last item!It has been fairly quiet here over the last two days. We were in a small contact two days ago that was over fast. Finding the firing points is the hardest part. Without that knowledge I cannot make decisions and am fairly useless. Parang [base] has been hit hard and seem to be in contact most days.Around the fort it is hard patrolling country. There is not much cover and therefore movement is restricted. If we move to the SW then extraction back is difficult. There is a canal directly outside which although gives good cover is terribly exposed on both banks and can be covered by at least three or four firing points. Although one must not set patterns, with only two routes into that area it is virtually impossible. There is a definite lack of steer from above as to how to play this one. I am yet to be given a definite mission and clarity as to my role out here.

7 May
Our first base attack last night. Parang came under attack at approx 10 pm with one firing point. They returned fire with 50 cal and small arms which from our sangars [sandbag fortifications] was an awesome display of tracer looping like fireflies out to the south and towards compound 17. Just when we thought things were slowing down out to the west we came under contact with RPGs [rocket propelled grenades] and small arms. The sangars responded very well with a powerful volley back to the firing points. At last we have been taken on our terms and although I do not think we managed to kill any enemy we would have definitely given them something to think about. Ferooz was again mentioned on the ICOM [radio system/scanner] as the main player instigating the attack. The signal strength was high showing his proximity to the fort. Two other names were mentioned which I recognise from our previous fire fights.The most frustrating thing is that they take us on, on their terms. They are very accomplished at moving into firing positions using good cover and it is almost impossible to identify the firing points. I hope with time this will improve. Spoke to mum this morning. I hope I have not scared her too much. Although I am sure that she appreciates or rather I think she must appreciate what I am doing out here. Don’t think I should have mentioned the ambush a few days ago – it is hard as the two worlds are so far apart. I hope this journal will help to put things in perspective for those back home who want to read it. The best way of describing it is being on one long exercise with a complete lack of luxuries, and without the knowledge that in 5 days there will be a coach at the gate to take us back to the barracks and the luxuries of bath and bed.The flies are uncontrollable. As I write this there are approximately 10 crawling over my legs and an unknown amount swarming over my head. Amazingly once they have disappeared in the early evening they are replaced by another of life’s annoying creatures, the mosquito. They seem to be able to infiltrate any clothing and get into mosquito nets like effective bank robbers. They then spend the next few hours eating their hearts out much to the annoyance of the body lying below.I spoke to X yesterday. I don’t know if it is a good idea or not. By speaking to her I depress myself with the knowledge that I will not see her for another four months but if I do not speak to her I miss her terribly. I think it is multiplied by being out here and going from being in contact at the press of a button to having very limited contact with the outside world. Maybe in time this will improve. Why is it that I always fall for girls who are trouble? But if life was easy then it would be easily boring.

(Mark was fatally wounded by a single bullet in his shoulder during an early patrol and ambush on 9 May. He commanded his men back to safety, and lost consciousness from bleeding within an hour. He never regained consciousness).

Afghanistan: Journal of Lieutenant Evison, Welsh Guards